Small Talk
by theanonymouslibrarians
Summary: Nathaniel and Faquarl don't exactly like one another.


Small Talk

By theanonymouslibrarians

Note: I do not own the Bartimaeus Sequence. I just saw this post on Tumblr about how Faquarl should have survived and I couldn't resist.

Nathaniel stared, eyes narrowed at the "man" who sat across from him. Faquarl, in turn, stared back, his pupils taking up far too much of his eyes to be natural. It wasn't unusual for Faquarl to stop by; after all, the reason the two were more or less allies was because Bartimaeus had had to open Nathaniel's mouth just before Nathaniel could kill the other djinni and suggest that there was a possibility that Nathaniel could discover a way to send Faquarl back to the Other Place. What was unusual was for Faquarl and Nathaniel to be alone.

Nathaniel couldn't say he cared for the experience. He just didn't trust the djinni. Faquarl hadn't helped Nathaniel and Bartimaeus kill Nouda so much as agreed not to kill them. Yes, the djinni had hauled Nathaniel from the Glass Palace after its collapse, but Faquarl had believed at the time that Bartimaeus still inhabited Nathaniel's body. Nathaniel didn't fully understand the relationship between Bartimaeus and Faquarl; the glimpses he'd seen of the other djinni in Bartimaeus' memories hadn't been that of a bosom friend. Sometimes Nathaniel didn't think Bartimaeus trusted Faquarl either. But Bartimaeus clearly wanted to help his fellow spirit, and Nathaniel would do what he could for him. He owed Bartimaeus at least that.

"You know," Faquarl, spoke, his voice holding a lightness that didn't reflect in his eyes, "Bartimaeus and I have known each other for millenia. Met in Mesopotamia."

"Is that so?" Nathaniel hadn't had time to absorb all of Bartimaeus' memories in the brief time he and Bartimaeus had been one, but he had no doubt this was true.

The djinni nodded. "I, of course, was five years older than him. Our first encounter, we worked together. Fighting off insurgents."

"That must have been nice." Nathaniel said, keeping his tone polite. "From what I understand, the two of you worked against one another quite a lot. I hear you've tried to kill him several times!"

Faquarl flashed him a grin. "Oh, you know how _magicians_ are. They pitted us against one another quite a lot. What could we do? Incidentally, Bartimaeus has tried to kill me several times, as well. Tried being the operative word."

Nathaniel shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Bartimaeus has never tried to kill _me_."

"He always was remarkably tolerant of those of lower rank and intelligence."

"I was twelve when I first met him. We brought down Simon Lovelace together."

"Ah," Faquarl's eyes glinted, "yes. Magicians do start enslaving early now."

"Of course, I realize now that, had he wanted to harm me, he could have. I was young and foolish. Probably made some slip ups." Thankfully Faquarl didn't know Nathaniel's birth name, nor that Bartimaeus knew it. "But, Bartimaeus never took advantage of those. I suppose he could have thrown his lot in with you. If he'd really wanted to, that is. I'm very fortunate he chose to stay by my side." That was true enough. Nathaniel had long since realized just how large of a debt he owed Bartimaeus.

The djinni sat forward. "We weren't always against each other. We often chose to be allies. Specifically, when some upstart magician needed to be put down. Has he ever told you about Khaba the cruel?" Faquarl shuddered. "Not a nice magician. And more intelligent and powerful than any alive today. Still, we found little ways of flouting his authority. Together."

"Yes. And I hear _Bartimaeus_ was quite instrumental in his fall from power."

"Then," Faquarl continued, "there was Genghis Khan. Not that history remembers _our_ role in his death. But that was a fun little escapade."

Nathaniel nodded. "Bartimaeus is a good ally. Together, he and I stopped a golem from destroying London."

Faquarl bared his teeth. "Yes. I hear that afterwards your relationship took a bit of a turn for the worse."

The magician dropped his gaze. "I did some things I regret." He said quietly. "Still, I never dropped him into a silver tureen."

This time it was Faquarl's turn to look away. "I'll admit. That may have been going a bit far. I never summoned him, though, and I never kept him on Earth for years on end."

"I have many things to atone for." Nathaniel admitted, and his guilt was genuine. He knew that Bartimaeus had forgiven him. When their minds had melded, they had reached an understanding of one another and, as undefined as their relationship was now, there was nothing Nathaniel and Bartimaeus wouldn't do for one another. "You can understand that, though. That time in Nineveh-"

"Bartimaeus and I have scarcely known a time when we didn't know one another."

"Bartimaeus has been a fixture in my life since I was 12." Not technically true, but Faquarl didn't need to know about the times in between.

"Bartimaeus and I have seen the rise and fall of many civilizations and will see the rise and fall of more long after you are dead, little boy!"

"Bartimaeus and I have shared a mind and a body and you can't even begin to comprehend that level of intimacy because you didn't think things through!"

"Bartimaeus and I are part of a species so ancient and so different than your own that your tiny human mind can't even begin to grasp-"

"But neither of you," Kitty's voice rang out, as she strolled into the kitchen, "are Ptolemy." Twin glares rested on her for several long seconds before both Faquarl and Nathaniel dropped their eyes to the table.

After a moment of fuming, Nathaniel picked up his spoon and ladled some soup in his mouth. Whatever Faquarl was or wasn't, he was a damn fine cook.


End file.
